Words can’t describe how thankful we are for each of you. Whether it is reading our Blog and sending love and encouragement, praying for us, praying for the families who receive boxes, or financially partnering with us during the month of October each year as we honor our son by loving on others.
This year we raised enough funds for 25 Hope Boxes. We are going to continue our ministry in California, sending boxes to our original hospitals, as well as start sending boxes to Colorado where my sister-in-law is a nurse in the pediatric unit.
Tomorrow we are sending out two boxes for specific families. Many times, we send out boxes and we don’t know who will receive them, but when we have names to go with the boxes, it is a different dynamic. In addition to this I’ve had the unique pleasure and blessing of emailing with another mama who recently lost her daughter and received one of our boxes. Every time I write to her, I feel inadequate, and pray that I allow the Lord to give me the words to write. This season I am especially praying for her and these two other families. What a blessing that we can pray for them by name.
I always want to be honest when I write these blogs, as this is a place for Jeff and I to pour out our hearts, be honest with how we are doing, share our grieving, and hopefully be a place where others find the love and peace of God through pain.
Tonight we have two very excited boys as we start decorating our home for Christmas. But tonight, we feel a missing piece of our family deeply. That Zechariah size hole in our heart is a bit bigger tonight and this season. Tonight is a night of joy, but it is also a night of deep grief for Jeff and I. Tonight as we started decorating the tree I handed Jeff the three ornaments that always go on the tree first. The three ornaments containing our boys baby hats, baby bracelets, and other trinkets from the hospital. Tonight it hit us hard, the realization that always comes, three births, three babies to hold, but only two that we get to love on here on earth. We cried, we talked, we grieved our baby boy.
Christmas seems to be when the grief hits the hardest for us. But it’s also when we have our greatest joys. Watching our two boys get excited over all the lights, hearing our oldest tell us about Jesus’ birth, and spending extra time with those closest to us. It’s when we feel Christ putting His big arms around us, grieving and crying with us, holding us, and loving us so deeply and giving us a peace that only He can give. So as we continue to grieve and miss our baby boy so deeply this season, we are humbled by God’s grace as He continues to lavish His love and peace upon us.
We continue to pray deeply for those families who will be grieving this season. Those whose arms feel a bit empty, and are missing a piece of their hearts and home. We pray that wherever they are on this journey, that they allow the arms of God to hold onto them, to cry with them, and to share with them His peace and love this season.
Finding Peace after the Storm 